You Don't Love Me, Big Fucking Deal, I'll Never Tell You How I Feel

I woke up with a headache and hardly enough energy to make it to the bathroom. My bruises from the rumble were just starting to heal, along with some other bruises I'd rather not discuss. With all of the drama that's been going on lately, it's been easier to skip meals. No one has really noticed either, not even Owen. I rubbed my eyes as I walked into the bathroom, quickly shutting the door and going through my morning routine. Once I got out of the shower I stood in front of the mirror, running my fingers along my stomach and thighs. I pinched some skin between my index finger and thumb, making a disgusted face. That's when the door opened, and in waltzed Steve. Good thing I was in my bra and jeans.

"When did you get so thin, Bre?" Steve asked, grabbing his hair product and a comb. "You should eat something." He teased, walking back out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. Little did he know how hard it was for me to just eat something. I pulled on a shirt and fixed my hair and make up before leaving to go waste the day, as usual.

I smoked a cigarette on the way to the Bucks, practicing my smoke circles. Luckily I made it there in one piece, and I casually took my place at the bar. Buck smiled at me, handing me my usual - Jack and coke. I took a few sips, putting my head in my hands and making small talk with Buck. I did that for a few hours, until I got bored and walked down to the DX. Soda and Steve were goofing off, as usual.

"What are you bums up to?" I called to them as I walked up, taking a seat on the hood of one of the cars they were working on. I pulled my legs to my chest, resting my chin on my knees as I watched the two of them work.

"We're doing our job. You should really think about getting one." Steve mumbled, pointing a wrench at me. I smiled and rolled my eyes, proudly presenting my middle finger to him.

I talked to them for a while, until it was time for them to get off of work, and then I rode over to the Curtis house with them. Everyone was already there, or mostly everyone. A few people were MIA, but the living room was mostly full of smiling, familiar faces. I sat next to Dawn, gossiping with her and discussing the Brumley boys. Everyone was laughing and having a good time, and I actually felt like I belonged, without being fucked up.

They all ate dinner, and I sat to the side, claiming to not be hungry. At this point I didn't even notice the hunger pains, I was so used to them. Now they were just a dull ache in the pit of my stomach, and typically a cigarette would ease the pain. So I went outside to smoke, coming back in when everyone was done eating. I took my seat next to Dawn again, continuing our conversation from earlier.

Around 9:00 I heard the front door slam and I looked up, watching Owen stroll into the room. I quickly acted like I was deep into conversation with Dawn. That's about the time Owen walked up and asked if he could steal me away. Dawn nodded and I stood up, walking back outside with Owen. Within a matter of seconds his lips were against mine and his hand was trailing up my thigh, his fingers slowly pushing my dress up. "We should go back to your place." I breathed, looking up at him. He nodded and we quickly made our way to his house and up to his room. Clothes were shed, and we did what we do best.

After we were done, Owen fell asleep and I got up, pacing around his room. I went to the window, pushing it up with the heels of my hands, pulling a cigarette out of my purse and quickly lighting it. I inhaled, feeling myself relax. I exhaled, putting my head in my hands and closing my eyes. I finished my cigarette, smoking a few more as I sat there and watched Owen sleep. It's no secret that he's gorgeous, his reputation with girls even proves that. I knew that this didn't mean anything to him, we were simply two friends that also happened to fuck each other on the daily. I could never tell him how much I actually enjoyed spending time with him. I know he's in love with someone else, but it's still nice to feel appreciated. Even though I'm not good enough, it's nice to sometimes pretend like I am. So I put my clothes back on and left, because that's the kind of stuff that made him want me. And I definitely want him to want me.